ABOUT

This blog is about my personal path as a grandparent obtaining legal guardianship and raising our grandchild. The path has been a struggle, but well worth it. She is our pride & joy!!! Photobucket
This is our grandbaby
July 2014
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Nana Tesch

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Our Princess is a big sister!!

No, I did not give birth to another child…. even though our princess
has begged me to have another child.

We have known since the egg donor gave birth that our Princess was a big
sister. At that time, we had little contact with the egg donor so our
princess didn’t get to meet him…… until recently.

After I had been contacted by Pat, the aunt to the princess’ half brother. We
had discussed the kids meeting. We did not even mention anything to our
princess about her even having a half brother. We did not want her hurt when
the egg donor wouldn’t show up with him. We weren’t sure she would ever get to
meet him because the egg donor hasn’t come to visit, but 2 times in the past 4
years.

My husband and I discussed at great length all the pros and cons of them meeting.
I also contacted our child psychologist to get her professional opinion. (which we
have done several times in the past)

After much discussion, we came to the conclusion that it would be a great idea if
they met. We weren’t sure when or how to tell our princess, so we put it off for
a few weeks. Finally, I couldn’t take it anymore, so I contacted Pat to see if she
could help me arrange a meeting. After we had it all scheduled, I came home from
work and asked our princess to sit down because we had to tell her something
very important.

We sat down, she was pretty scared not knowing what I wanted to talk to her about.
I told her, “you know how you asked mom to have another baby?”, she said “yes”, I said,
“I am not having another baby, but how would you feel if you had a little brother?”
She was confused but ecstatic!! I explained that she had a 1/2 brother and what
that meant. They have the same mom but a different birth dad. She understood
right away. (she’s so smart)

She asked when she would get to meet him. I told her if she wants to meet him, that
I already talked with his auntie and we can meet him the following week.

She asked EVERY day if it was the day she got to meet her brother. She told
everyone she knew that she had a brother. She told her teacher, she called my
mom, my other daughter, and even her birth father.

FINALLY time day had come. We picked her up from school and we met up with her
brother, his daddy, and his auntie at a local fast food place.

She was kind of nervous, yet so excited. We walked in, I pointed out her
brother, she went right up to him and said “hi, I am your sister”. I don’t
think he understood, he’s only 3.

We all sat and ate supper together, then the kids went to play. They had a blast
together. They played for almost 2 hours. Our princess was in heaven!
All we heard all night was, “I have a brother!”

I am not sure when we will get to see him again, but his dad said we could
get the kids together again and that he wanted them to have a relationship
just as much as we do.

Random Facebook message……

Not too long ago, I received a message on Facebook from an acquaintance of the
egg donors. (I will call her Pat) she asked me about the egg donor’s past.
Pat’s family was concerned about the egg donor’s past with children. At first, I
did not want to get involved, however the more I thought about and discussed
with my husband, we thought it was a good idea to give the information that we
experienced ourselves. Our princess has a 1/2 brother, so we thought because
there is another child that could be at risk and we knew the egg donor’s history
with children, it would be in the best interest of this little boy if I told
what I knew.

Pat and I had a very long conversation on the phone. We both had a positive
experience telling each other what was going on currently and in the past.

She confirmed many things for me. I confirmed many things for her. We have chatted
back and forth several times since.

Most recently she told me that her brother and the egg donor had split and her
brother was going to the courts asking for full custody with no visitation from
the egg donor. She asked if I would help. Again, I did not want to get involved, but
I knew it would be in the best interest of that little boy if I gave a statement. I did
not want to testify in court, but I said I would give a sworn statement.

I received a message saying that the guardian ad litem wanted to speak to me regarding
the egg donors past. Before I got that call, I made a list of several examples of why
the egg donor did not deserve to have custody of this child.

The phone rang and it was the guardian ad litem. She asked me if I could tell her
what I knew about the egg donor’s past with children. I barely knew where to start
since I had so many things to say. She told me just to say what I wanted to based
from my experiences with her.

I talked straight for over 30 minutes with numerous examples of why the egg
donor isn’t fit to raise a child.

I did state I do not care for the egg donor, however that was not the reason I was
giving my statement. I expressed my concerns for this child, based off of our past and
how she was as a mother (or lack thereof) to our princess.

I truly think the guardian ad litem was in shock. She was given some of this same
information from the boyfriends family, but I think she was in shock on all the
experiences we had with her. I could have gone on and on, but the information I gave
was more than adequate for her to make the best decision for this little boy.

DECISION…… the father received FULL CUSTODY/PLACEMENT- the egg donor received
2 days per week visitation. I personally feel she didn’t even deserve that, but
I am glad she didn’t not got any custody or placement.

Next post: “Our Princess is a big sister”. Coming Soon!!

Let’s Dance

Our princess was in dance class again this year. She had a BLAST! Many of
her friends were in her same class, which made it even more exciting for her.

I was part of the costume committee, which was a lot of work, but well worth
it. We ordered nearly 200 costumes plus accessories. We have a try on night
for the girls, then we order all of them. When they come in, you can’t even
imagine the work to sort them all out so each girl has the right size costume,
with all the accessories, and tights.

We also ordered new ballet slippers this year. Our princess just loved them.

She enjoys dance so much! She looks forward to it every year. We had some snow
days this year, but all the girls had enough practice for the big recital.

The recital was in April this year, which helped out a great deal, having an
extra 4 weeks of practice. The recital went off without a hitch with the
help of the board members and ALL the volunteers.

The girls did such a great job at the recital! All the hard work paid off.

I was already asked if I would be part of the costume committee again next year. I
hesitated at first because it is SO much work, but so well worth it to see all
the girls in their costumes at recital time, so I said yes to next year.

Next Post: Coming Soon!

~NANA~

She’s growing up so fast!

Our princess is growing up so fast!

We are several months into her first year of school. She’s doing SO well!

We received her first report card of her Kindergarten year. It was AMAZING!

We couldn’t be more proud of our princess!!

The grading system is 1,2, and 3. 1 is for needs improvement, 2 means the
student is meeting the standard for that subject, and a 3 means exceeding
expectations. Out of a possible 84 points, our princess scored 81 points
along with raving comments about all of her knowledge, expectations, and
what a wonderful job she’s been doing.

We had her first parent teacher’s conference. It went so well. Her teacher
had so man nice things to say about our princess. She is very smart, loves
to learn, helps other students, is a very caring, and loving little girl.
She is far exceeding the expectations for Kindergarten. She came into
Kindergarten with skills at a first grade level, if not higher.

Since the last report card, she has really learned how to read, sound out
words, figure out math problems, she learned how to be an author and
illustrator of her own book, and so much more.

We are SO proud of her!! We are truly blessed with this beautiful, loving,
and brilliant little girl!!

We have to be careful when we spell words around the house now, because she
knows how to sound them out. DARN IT! (LOL)

Next post: Coming Soon!

~NANA~

Liar, Liar…….

Before I get this post started, I have to say a big portion of this information was received by
me from SEVERAL people. The information was given to me without solicitation. (no accusations, just
informational)

I received a random phone call stating that the egg donor had been in contact with my son. This
happened 1 day after the restraining order that SHE filed was expired. At first, there was a
Facebook message from her to him. (which I did see) Asking how he was doing.
If you “hated” someone so bad to file a restraining order, why would someone contact them 1 day after it was expired?

Then it led to phone calls. Small chit chat to start, but then several conversations took
place. I not only heard about these calls from my son, but from other individuals as well.

She must have thought she could “hook” and reel him back in. She said she thought it would be
a good idea for them to get together to discuss getting back together. (SERIOUSLY?)

She said that we (my husband and I) never let her see Our Princess, (LIAR!) she calls, (LIAR!)
she emails, (LIAR!) and we will not answer. (LIAR!)

She said that I FORCED her divorce my son, (LIAR!) I forced her to get the restraining order
against him, (LIAR!) She said that she had no clue about our Princess’ guardianship, we
“pulled” one over on her and forced her to do it. (LIAR!)

She said her little boy sits in front of the television all day, he won’t talk, he won’t do
anything, so she put him in daycare so THEY could teach him and deal with him.

She said all kinds of personal things about herself and her current situation, which was really dumb,
because he can use all of it against her.

Then I got another random call from a mutual person stating that one of her family members
had been at the same place that the egg donor was and she was telling everyone there that
we would not let her see our princess, I was nothing but a nasty b*tch, and all other kinds
of lies. (LIAR!)

She even stooped so low as to tell all her lies to a waitress at the local café. (SERIOUSLY?)

There are some people who are pathological liars and she is one of them. If these lies are what she
has to tell her self so she can sleep at night, well, then so be it. We all know the truth!!
(nothing makes me more angry than a pathological liar!!)

She has seen our princess twice in the past 3 1/2 years, and that’s by HER choice. The very last
time I personally had any contact with her was 1 1/2 years ago.
Does that really sound like someone who wants to see her daughter? NOT!!

I don’t think it’s fair that our princess got ripped off in the biological parent department, so
I make sure she has a picture in her room of her birth parents, she knows their names, we talk
about them as well, so she knows we aren’t trying to hide anything from her. I asked her if she
misses the egg donor, her response: “No, not at all, she doesn’t even come to see me, how could I
miss her?” EXACTLY!! She is only 5 years old, and she totally gets it. Obviously, it doesn’t
take a rocket scientist to figure out she is truly just an EGG DONOR!!!

I do have to thank her though for 1 thing, we have the BEST part of her…. our little princess!!
She is a true angel, are blessed to have each other!